My boyfriend has issues..

My boyfriend has issues. His mom has been complaining about the neighbors next door and their menagerie of animals -- stagnant water full of turtles, seven unkempt dogs, and at least six cats. He said the yard smells awful, the neighbors never clean up after the animals and have five kids on top of that. When she went outside today to water her cacti, a swarm of mosquitoes came and attacked her. Nearly carried her away. These things were the size of baby hueys.

So Bobby calls me and tells me that I need to call animal control right away. I mean, he could've called himself but I guess I'm just better at it than he is. He told me he has a lump on his neck from a killer skeeter bite and now has, in his words exactly, "serendipitious malaria". That is is better than the time he told me he had "telbow ennis".

Since he's on the phone right now, I called animal control. But since people in that area are actually normal and not everyone is awake at 6:30 a.m., animal control didn't answer the phone. He's been calling me every couple of hours telling me I need to call animal control because the lump full of skeeters is going to hatch, turn to gangrene, and give him rabies.

Yes, he has issues.

Telbow Ennis.

That all sounds awful,those poor kids living in that filth!

Yeah, I'm going to call animal control for him again in a little bit.

We had neighbors like that...The house next to ours is split up into apartments. We had new neighbors that had a couple dogs and a cat. Soon enough, they started bringing more and more animals. Soon, their house was filled with animals. I even watched a dog, that was so cramped inside, that it jumped out of the second floor window (thankfully, he survived unharmed).

Everyone on our street called animal control.

It turns out that they never paid rent. And for some reason, the landlords couldn't make them leave. Eventually, they did get evicted. There were more cats and dogs then anyone thought. In our 200 year old houses, we have cellars with dirt floors and rock walls. They kept litters of puppies in theirs.

The landlords wrote everyone a letter apologizing. They had to completely renovate the apartment, as it was falling apart with urine and feces. It was like an episode of animal hoarders.

And why can't he call himself? Men...

zazanomore wrote:

And why can't he call himself? Men...

Honestly, he has a potty mouth. He swears like a sailor. He's the "Anthony Weiner of phone calls", in inappropriate language, not pictures. I, on the other hand, am much nicer and calmer when I try to get people to do things.

He did actually end up talking to the children's welfare offices mostly on his own. I guess the kids are filthy and not taken care of, so we called to report it.

Besides, now he can tell his mom it was my fault and he won't be blamed for needing to have the baby Jesus taken away from his saint.