Pet Peeves

zazanomore wrote:

In Canada, we don't use it. We use "mentally handicapped" or "mentally disabled".

Cultural differences I guess.

No, it's out of favor here as well. Handicapped is out of favor, too. Another pet peeve of mine is that I think we do ourselves and the language a disservice by changing the label we apply to a concept in the vain hope that any negatives associated with the concept will fall away with the label. IM(NS)HO we'd do better to tackle the harder problem and work to change the way people feel about the concept behind the label. Otherwise you are just delaying the inevitable.

Did you know that about a week ago the "North American Riding for the Handicapped Association" changed its name to the "Professional Association for Therapeutic Horsmanship"? While PATH is a way better acronym than NARHA, one of the main reasons was everyone had begun to cringe at the word "Handicapped". I've held NARHA certification, I still help out at a programs annual horseshow/recital and my husband has a dearly loved cousin with Downs syndrome, so I am by no means an enemy of treating people with mental or physical conditions kindly, but I do get very frustrated with the constant chasing around to find a new label! "Dried Plums" anyone? Did it really make prunes taste any different?

Here are some terms which have been used to describe a person whose cognitive functions are not as acute as what is considered the normal standard.

At one time they were called imbeciles. This was a technical term for the condition deriving from a French word for "weak".

Well, that was judged no good and the word "retarded" came into use: Retarded means "restricted" or "held back" as in "Flame retardant".

OK, that wasn't so good either I guess, and we tried out mentally "handicapped": Handicapped comes from sports and means given an extra burden or score penalty in order to equalize chances of winning. This was a pretty attempt in some ways as it implies the person so-afflicted is better than others in some way.

OK, so that one isn't exactly accurate. How about mentally "disabled". Oh, but dis means anti, so disabled sort of means "with no ability". How about "differently abled"? What the heck does that mean? Oh, I have it! And the new term in use last time I checked is:

"Developmentally Delayed". Guess what? That has exactly the same definition as "retarded".

The prosecution rests.

patdbunny wrote:

BUT! I have had seriously religious people offend me -

Me, too. I was raised Jewish and that's still the religious identification I have the most affinity for, but I am essentially a vacillating agnostic. I grew up in Florida and when I was about 7 or 8, I'd gone to the brand-new Albertson's store to grocery shop with with my mother. She'd send me off to pick up stuff here and there and I'd get to pick out one treat for myself. I'd gone off to pick up something and this lady stops me. I am a little kid and she grabs me in the grocery store. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?" she asks me. "No, ma'am, we're Jewish". "Well then you are going to hell!" "No I'm not" "Yes, you are! All you need to do is believe in Him and you can be saved. Now do you believe?" "No." I think I eventually just walked away while she was still hammering on at me. It was my first exposure to that form of religious expression, by far not the last! By all means, have that discussion with other adults. I am invariably polite to the Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormon missionaries that turn up on my doorstep. But when I think about it now, I still get a bit angry. It felt like an assault almost. I can't, as an adult, imagine another adult attacking a lone child that way!

Of course in this day, I doubt parents would let children wander away like that (and another pet peeve is that when they do bring them to the store, they seem to run amok, wreaking havoc), but at the time it was more or less safe and I don't recall ever doing anything other than walking to where an item was and bringing it back.

I've never really been offended personally by a religious person.

I went to a catholic school, but nothing was ever shoved down our throats as truth. In science, we learned science, in religion we learned religion.

I'd consider myself an agnostic. I believe that there are things greater than us, but it is impossible for us to know.

I'm respectful of all religions, because at the base of all of them, they are share one common belief.

ScooterNScotty wrote:

The prosecution rests.

The prosecutor sat down as the courtroom observers erupted into a standing ovation.

I shift back and forth between agnostic and atheist, but stay more on the atheist side.

I'm gonna say it, *takes breath*- Mormons. ARGH! Your religion is a lie!

ScooterNScotty wrote:

patdbunny wrote:

BUT! I have had seriously religious people offend me -

Me, too. I was raised Jewish and that's still the religious identification I have the most affinity for, but I am essentially a vacillating agnostic.

I was raised with zero knowledge of religion. I don't mean I was raised to be an atheist (which I am now). I just never knew religion existed until part way through elementary school. I even tried to be religious at one point, to fit in with some friends. But in the end, atheism made the most sense to me.

As a result, I am very, VERY annoyed by people that push their religion on others. People who preach, knock door-to-door. I don't approve of parents even teaching their own religion to their kids (I know this one can be a sore topic). Because I believe every person should be allowed to choose for themselves. Children take what their parents say as fact. Regardless of whether it is or not. No children should be fed doctrine until they're old enough to understand there are other options out there.

But nothing. Nothing annoys me more than a creationist.

GlassOnion wrote:

I shift back and forth between agnostic and atheist, but stay more on the atheist side.

I'm gonna say it, *takes breath*- Mormons. ARGH! Your religion is a lie!

Only Mormons?

GlassOnion wrote:

I shift back and forth between agnostic and atheist, but stay more on the atheist side.

I'm gonna say it, *takes breath*- Mormons. ARGH! Your religion is a lie!

Nevermore wrote:

ScooterNScotty wrote:

patdbunny wrote:

BUT! I have had seriously religious people offend me -

Me, too. I was raised Jewish and that's still the religious identification I have the most affinity for, but I am essentially a vacillating agnostic.

I was raised with zero knowledge of religion. I don't mean I was raised to be an atheist (which I am now). I just never knew religion existed until part way through elementary school. So, when I found myself faced with the facts. I even tried to be religious at one point, to fit in with some friends. But in the end, atheism made the most sense to me.

As a result, I am very, VERY annoyed by people that push their religion on others. People who preach, knock door-to-door. I don't approve of parents even teaching their own religion to their kids (I know this one can be a sore topic). Because I believe every person should be allowed to choose for themselves. Children take what their parents say as fact. Regardless of whether it is or not. No children should be fed doctrine until they're old enough to understand there are other options out there.

But nothing. Nothing annoys me more than a creationist.

When I was little, I assumed that everyone had the same religion, they just practiced it in different ways.

zazanomore wrote:

When I was little, I assumed that everyone had the same religion, they just practiced it in different ways.

I so wish that was so! I grew up reading Madeleine L'Engle and I adored her view of good and evil, religion and science, and human nature. I did not learn until much later that she is considered a Christian writer. Her writings were much about the desire to do good and to be tolerant and for everyone to work together. I am not someone who is going to trash anyone's belief system, but I do wish more of those who set themselves up as public religious figures would embrace those aspects of religion that exhort people to be good and kind and generous rather than petty, exclusive and prejudiced. And as a scientist, I also have issues with the kind of literal fundamentalism that throws out the whole concept of the scientific method whenever a result disagrees with their interpretation of religious texts. I had a colleague who was both an Astronomer and a very Fundamentalist Christian who took the view that it was God putting out a puzzle for him to solve, and I was OK with that, it's throwing out the whole baby with the bathwater that bugs me.

If this thread does not create a major explosion on the forum I don't know what will...

...I"m trying to find the emoticon of a nuclear explosion. No Dice.

This shall suffice for the moment....

No need for a nuclear explosion, there's the true Rapture coming to get us in October.

i believe there is a higher power...i think religion is a personal thing and not to be pushed on others...i am not a christian nor jewish nor anything...my beliefs are mine...get your own....lol


dusty

Nevermore wrote:

...I"m trying to find the emoticon of a nuclear explosion. No Dice.

This shall suffice for the moment....

anyways, I was raised with an Islamic faith. I think there are good teachings from religions and I respect them. Right now I'm not following any set faith, nothing quite works for me but I like to explore other religions. What bugs me is when people use their religions to justify being antigay or discriminitory towards certain people, etc. One of my friends is christian and we get along alright but he just cannot except that some of my friends are part of the LGBTQ community which makes me sad.. I like love and acceptance, not hate.

I agree with you Moa. You know what's funny with the whole anti-homosexuality deal? I was told that in the bible, there's a section that states the sins such as, homosexuality, wearing clothes of mixed fabrics, tattoos, etc. Right by this, there's a statement that those who commit any ONE of those sins, is also a sinner for ALL of those other doings.

So......... Christians that wear mixed fabrics and/or have tattoos are by default homosexual.

dusty wrote:

i believe there is a higher power...i think religion is a personal thing and not to be pushed on others...i am not a christian nor jewish nor anything...my beliefs are mine...get your own....lol


dusty

I agree that view, Dusty. It's personal.

moa wrote:

I like love and acceptance, not hate.

Live and let live.

In other news... OMG I LOVE THAT EMOTICON!!!

Oh, and I thought of another peeve I have. Wet hands. After I use the restroom and wash my hands, I stand there with a paper towel or whatever's provided until there is no water left on my hands, including in between my fingers. If there are no towels I will use my shirt or pants. I just hate having my hands wet.

dusty wrote:

i believe there is a higher power...i think religion is a personal thing and not to be pushed on others...i am not a christian nor jewish nor anything...my beliefs are mine...get your own....lol


dusty

I put my 2 hands and 2 feet under that statement.
I was raised Christian, twice in my life offended by the one, who wears long black suit. In my city it was 3 different religious, and the most stupid thing parents was doing, was trying to separate his kid from marrying partner, who was different religion.
I have nothing against any religion, except, when they get fanatic and use their rules to their own benefits(including Catholics). That's the one of reasons I don't go to Church.
Believe, what you want, but be a good person and do good things, that's what I believe.

Interesting. This topic is one that is almost guaranteed to result in bloodshed and tears for someone. Or at least an entertaining flame war. Yet nobody here is taking anything as an insult, or getting riled up.

Nevermore wrote:

Interesting. This topic is one that is almost guaranteed to result in bloodshed and tears for someone. Or at least an entertaining flame war. Yet nobody here is taking anything as an insult, or getting riled up.

thats because we are all friends here...we discuss and debate...everyone shares a different view and allow others to do the same...if it catches on we are looking at world peace....lol


dusty

I'll wager the ones who are feeling uncomfortable are opting out from this discussion. Those who are participating are largely coming from the same perspective. It *is* a touchy subject. And I would caution us all to consider that those who have not yet posted may adhere to a belief system that has been to one extent or another "dissed" here.

An "I" statement rarely causes offense, but a "you" statement has a hard time not doing so.

IMO, FWIW.

ScooterNScotty wrote:

I'll wager the ones who are feeling uncomfortable are opting out from this discussion. .

i hope not SnS...nothing to be embarrased or ashamed of...i believe god is god, no matter how you/one chooses to believe in him...i am still dusty no matter what you call me...


dusty

dusty wrote:

i hope not SnS...nothing to be embarrased or ashamed of...i believe god is god, no matter how you/one chooses to believe in him...i am still dusty no matter what you call me...

Should I get out my Swiffer? Sorry, couldn't resist.

I would not expect they were embarrassed, more likely angry or disillusioned. Or just plain not wanting to go there. Could be wrong....

ScooterNScotty wrote:

I'll wager the ones who are feeling uncomfortable are opting out from this discussion. Those who are participating are largely coming from the same perspective. It *is* a touchy subject. And I would caution us all to consider that those who have not yet posted may adhere to a belief system that has been to one extent or another "dissed" here.

An "I" statement rarely causes offense, but a "you" statement has a hard time not doing so.

IMO, FWIW.

SnS, it's likely that you'd win your wager. I toyed with jumping in here and decided not to because as you said, those who are participating do seem to be coming from a similar perspective; a perspective that is quite different from mine. Moreover, my "perspective" is somewhat complicated. It's complicated enough that I'm really unable to convey it in a few paragraphs on a public forum. At its heart, it boils down to "All roads lead to Rome," or the religious version of the well known saying, but it's far more complicated than that.

And yes, my belief system has, to one extent or another, been "dissed" here. I don't take offense nor do I feel any need to launch any kind of a defense, but embarrassment or shame is not what is keeping me quiet. It is the simple fact that I just don't care to "go there."

I'm glad that y'all are able to find some commonalities. I would however, repeat SnS's advice in my own way: Self-referencing comments are usually safe in that they only provide commentary about one's self.

I want to clarify that I don't mean to diss anyone with strong religious views. Strong religious views do not offend me at all and I respect them. Those with strong views in general who ALSO go around trying to shove them down my throat are those who offend me.

EC’s first daycare provider was a born again christian with strong religious beliefs. I was initially wary of her as she had an ichthus on her business card. She and I discussed our respective religious beliefs and she assured me that while she’s caring for children she’s not preaching to them. She was the best daycare provider ever! We respected each other’s views.

My mother used to take EC to church when EC was with her on Sundays. I have no objection. I’d actually like to take her to different religious services where possible so she can learn about various beliefs - catholic, methodist, budhist, etc. She’s been to the buddhist temple but I don’t think she remembers.

Again, for me it’s not about religion, it’s about any strong belief that gets shoved down my throat. I put out the “going to hell” experience more so in hopes of eliciting some to feel more comfortable putting their opinions out there.

With the utmost respect to my fellow forum members,

Roz.

Wow I really need to catch up on all these posts when I get home from work. I have so many pet peeves I can't pinpoint just one. Then again, I tend to be an opinionated, stubborn bitch sometimes so that could be a problem, though I have an open mind and take other peoples opinions into consideration.

Major pet peeve of mine... spoiled people. There are two parts to this. The first is spoiled kids. Get everything they want, have a nice place to live, have a loving family yet have no respect for anyone, have no manners and are rude beyond rude. You see these brats sporting around in their designer clothes in their daddy's sports car (or worse, the one their daddy bought them) and they act like they're celebrities and expect people to wait on them or get out of their way. I catch glimpses of these jerseylicious/sweet 16 shows on TV and I just want to slap these kids so hard, throw them out in the street and see how well they adapt when they don't have their parents funding their celebrity lifestyles.

The second part are spoiled adults, mostly women. I have one that I work with and everyone just wants to throttle her. Her parents babied her, told her she was a pretty pretty princess (and trust me, she's no where near it) and now she gets away with everything because she's "sensetive" and "emotional". For christ sake, the woman is 40 yrs old and she has Hello Kitty BS hanging in her cubicle. Grow the F*ck up!

Now onto your current topic... religion. Wow. A HUGE peeve of mine to have it shoved down my throat by people who think theirs is THEE religion. I was lucky in that I was raised in a mixed religion household with open minded parents. My moms family was Italian Catholic and my fathers parents were Orthodox Russian (yup) and I did both until I was about 14. Transversely, my moms grandmother was Stregga and taught me all about herbology, tea reading and mysticism and my dad's "elders" were Romani....gypsy with their superstitions, chanting and od cures.

When I was 14 my mom said read about what the world has to offer, go to whatever services you want and choose whatever makes you happiest. Period. I dabbled in Wicca, Buddhism, Kabalah, even went to some more normal routes like Episcopal and Lutheran. Now, I don't have a religion. I never labeled myself with one. I was never a religious person, but I am very spiritual. I've always been very connected to the earth and her animals, so I tend toward the ideology of the natural religions like native american, pagan.... and its a part of my life in everything I do. My only religious tennant is simple "do things that please the earth as long as it harms no one". Thats it.