Scared of my husband - now what GCC folks?

Hi all,

We have had this girl home about 5 1/2 weeks now. Remember this is the "submissive" one- she is generally a very wary girl.

She was willingly stepping up for him very well up until this weekend. For no apparent reason, she just tries to fly away when he presents his hand.

He is not around much ,and has not worked with her daily as he should have. Do you think she will settle down after she gets used to her home? She is doing much better with me, I think we are starting to bond pretty well.

i know he needs to just keep trying, but he is already feeling hurt and rejected(lucky me- 2 babies).

Any comments?

Thanks a bunch.

Jody and Sadee(aka Bella)

Can he be the one who feeds her in the morning and evening/afternoon when he gets home? She is seeing you as the caregiver and he's. . . who knows who he is as he doesn't interact with her regularly. IMO especially the first couple of months home all household members need to interact with the bird daily so there's no "favorite person".

You can also pick up the bird and pass her to him. For me this has been successful in getting birds to accept other people. I think in the bird's mind, "If my favorite person thinks it's okay, then it must be safe." Leave the room after you do this and let them have a good 15 minutes of one on one time. With you out of the room, the bird's not looking to get back to you.

He might have to start with just letting her stand on his hand and talk gently to her until she's completely comfortable with him before progressing to trying to pet her or do anything else with her. He needs to be calm and not do anything that pushes that "fight or flight" button. This may take several weeks. Kinda like what's happened with you and the bird.

If he does nothing and just hopes she'll come around, she might never interact with him. He needs to also build a relationship with her if he wants to play with her.

Adding - If he does his interaction time in a room that's not where her cage is helps so she's not focused on her cage. A neutral room.

I'll add that with Scooter, it makes a difference how fast I move. He might want to make a point of presenting his hand in slow motion and stopping before she starts to think about flying away... he needs to encourage her to come to him, not try to make it happen. Bribes (treats) aren't a bad idea either.

Sorry that this is happening for you guys, I think it will be temporary, especially if you use the ideas PTB suggested. She already said everything I would have said, and has far more experience than me. Your bird will always like one of you better than the other. Treats is always a good thing. Start slow and small, it will come.

Merlin prefers me and will tolerate my youngest, but can't stand my wife and my oldest. Not even PTB's ideas have worked for this.

Thanks everyone- I will pass the suggestions along- then the ball will be in his court. He has to make the effort.

I have been trying to teach her to "come" to me- she doesn't seem to like to walk around. I guess there weren't opportunities in the store, she was either in the cage or on the tree. Bribes are making a difference little by little. This one does love to eat!

Jody

I've never failed with the rescue game. If you leave her in a BIRD SAFE room where she's not comfortable for a few minutes, then have your hubs go in and "rescue" her, she'll be so happy to see someone familiar she'll hang on him out of gratitude. Have him hand in there and quietly, slowly and calmly interact w her and she may start to for a new opinion of him.

Edit: Unless, of course, that's all considered abusive now... In which case you shouldn't do it.

VickiNumbers wrote:

Edit: Unless, of course, that's all considered abusive now... In which case you shouldn't do it.

How's that abusive?

It even works if the bird has put itself on the floor... the only time Scooter allows Bill to handle him these days, is when he's wound up on the floor, then he's usually happy to be picked up.

Actually, though, that's another tactic, have him handle her in a room that's away from her comfort zone, period. Sometimes a change of scene is enough without a whole rescue deal.

ScooterNScotty wrote:

It even works if the bird has put itself on the floor... the only time Scooter allows Bill to handle him these days, is when he's wound up on the floor, then he's usually happy to be picked up.

Actually, though, that's another tactic, have him handle her in a room that's away from her comfort zone, period. Sometimes a change of scene is enough without a whole rescue deal.

I would love to try this with Arthur, but short of towelling him to move him I don't see how it would work. I am worried the towelling alone would kinda wreck the progress we have made thus far. I don't want to start over again.

Roger, I think he's just not there yet...

You mean put her on the floor in the bathroom or something for a few minutes? How would that be abusive? I am a little worried with this ones fearfulness issues- she might really freak out.

I am excited to report I got my first "greeting' when I got home yesterday. A series of conure squawks when I came in the door. She has a voice!!!!!!

Jody

Yay!!!!

Even just carry her into a different room, and see if she's happier to interact with him there. But not if it is over her comfort threshold. You know her better than we do!

That greeting was an isolated incident I guess. Silence again today. Do your GCC's call to you when you come home- or is it not their thing?

Jody

Oh yes, sometimes I can hear Scooter when I drive up! You could try contact-calling her when you get home, see if that encourages her. But hey, at least she isn't screaming! I think she's taking her time figuring this whole living in a house thing out.

And Scotty calls, "Hey bird!"

The whole rescue thing doesn't have to be on the floor. When I was working w Bucky, I'd take him into my sons room and leave him on the bed, shutting the door behind me. In a few minutes, after he was uncomfortable because he was in a room he was certainly not familiar with, someone else would go in and save him. While in there, they would sit and play with him for a minute or two. It worked.