Not sure where to put this

JJ Died last night. I'm trying not to die with her. Will post more later.

oh no, i am so sorry


dusty

Im so sorry

Oh, that's awful! So sorry for your loss! We are here if and when you need us!

Unfortunately, I also know what it's like to lose a dear bird. I'm sorry you do, too.

I'm so sorry.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. I feel so awful for you. I don't know what to say.

Jeez.. I'm so sorry

Thank you all. I hate to be so dramatic, but I feel like a part of me has died. I couldn't stay at home so I'm at the bird store right now seeking solace in bloody fingers and feathers of another color.

I don't know what happened, don't know if I ever will... I'll tell the story later, I can't right now, I'm still crying. I'm a big blubber baby. Hugs back to everyone...

Hate to be clinical, but do you know what was wrong? Was JJ ill? So so sorry for your loss. It is never easy.

So sorry to hear of your loss



*hugs* We're here for you!

My heart is breaking for you. We had to put down Louie, Jeanne's CAG, last week and that was horrible. You feel so helpless and lost. Know we are all here for you if you need a shoulder.

I've felt devastated ever since I read your post, I can't even imagine how awful you feel. I've almost been in tears several times myself and all I want to do is go check on my guys and make sure they are OK. You definitely have a lot of sympathetic ears here.

I also would like to know what happened when you feel up to it. It sounds as if there was no warning and no obvious cause. I've always been terrified of that.

Same here, sitting at work trying not to cry. My cats been ill and is still not moving much. I spend my nights poking at him to make sure he's still breathing.

And unfortunately with birds, it is usually a shock. They have such long lives, but they also have very sensitive "systems" that can react to the most minute things. I have to deal with it at the rescue, not frequently, but once is more than enough for me. In the past few months we've had maybe 5 pass and those are no less hard to deal with. Probably why I tend to go clinical when it happens because we have to. Make sure its not something that can kill the other birds, so we always have to get an autopsy done. I know you have other birds, I know its hard, but I would suggest it for their safety.

Oh sweetheart, I am in tears. I am beyond heartbroken for you.

I'm so sorry.
There are no words to made somebody else feel better in that situation. I was crying each time, when I lost my pet

I'm so very sorry to hear this. Hugs to you and yours ;o(

Ive been thinking about you all day<<33 We are all here for you if you need. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

I don't even know how to tell you all how much your shared sympathy means to me... It takes someone else who knows the love of one of these little guys to understand the complete devastation I've been feeling all day today. My hubs has felt bad, but his sympathy has been for me, not because he feels a loss too, you know? I'd have felt very alone in my grief had it not been for everyone here and my friends at the bird store - which is where I spent most of the day. I ended up leaving earlier than I'd planned and took her to the vet... but I'll start at the beginning of the story.

Our day started the same way it always does. She wakes up when Cal is getting ready for work. He turns on lights and makes noise, she wakes up and I hear her start eating, she invokes her escape clause (by EEEP! EEEEEP!ing), I go get her, take her to the bathroom where she does her massive morning business, then we go crawl back in my bed and snuggle under the covers for another hour or so till it's time to get up. Everything was normal! Appetite, poop, activity, everything! She roamed around under the covers until she found her spot right by my side, then she snuggled in and went to sleep. I dozed off too, as I often do, and woke up about 45 min later and reached down and started petting her and clucking to her... I knew something was wrong immediately because she didn't feel right... I threw back the covers and scooped her up at the same time. Like Kaela, I tried to resuscitate her, but it was far too late for JJ.

After I left the store, I called the vet and told him everything. He said he could do a necropsy, but he really didn't think it would show anything. He said that more than likely it was the result of a heart defect, suffocation, or the combination of the two. She hadn't been acting ill, the very short time frame involved, and blah blah blah... The bottom line for me is that I am absolutely certain she was showing no signs of illness and there had been no change in her environment whatsoever If I had any question about that, I would request to move forward with the necropsy. But at this point, I have the choice of paying for the necropsy, or getting another bird. And the void in my life is far larger than my need to have resolution over what caused her death.

I spent most of the day at the bird store, crying and trying to find another JJ to fill the hole that I knew was going to be waiting for me at home, but there wasn't a JJ there. So, to answer the question on everyone's mind ... yes, I'm getting another bird. Soon... as soon as I can find one. Karen had two Blue Crown Conure babies who are 2 and 4 days old that she had to pull cause mom and dad wont feed them, but as cute as they are, I'm not sure I want a conure that big. I really like the green cheeks. I love their size, their personality... their pain-in-the-buttness... But the only GCC she had was scared to death of people.... and while I'm sure I could tame him, it would take a LOT of time and a LOT of bandaids. (I needed 4 just from today.) I don't think that's what I'm looking for. So I looked online and found a breeder three hours away across the mountains who has one yellow sided green cheek left. Since I dont want another turquoise (I'd always be expecting it to be JJ), my second choice was a yellow sided... and one that doesn't have to be shipped is a bonus. So, I'm off to see if I have a spark with this little baby tomorrow. She's not weaned yet, but the breeder said that since I have birds, I have experience feeding, I have an experienced hand-feeder available as a resource (and there's another storm coming in on Saturday), that she'd let me bring her home unweaned. SO... we'll see. You know I'll keep you posted.

Hugs to you all.... I couldn't have made it through this day without you.

Good for you for processing through this so quickly. When my cockatiel passed suddenly, it was weeks before I was ready for another bird, and Tucker was not even that sociable. I hope you find the spark again soon. The new bird will never be JJ, but it shouldn't be. JJ was special to you and should remain so.

Good thoughts and prayers with you. Glad we could help in some small way. Take care, let us know what happens with the Yellow Side.

Hugs. How awful for you!

I'm sure the right bird will come along when you and it are totally ready for each other. Mattie the cat happened to us before I was really ready after Ariel, but Bill was ready and she's pretty perfect.

(sad smile) Oh Roger, rest assured, there's not been any "processing" taking place. If anything, this activity is in lieu of processing, or maybe part of it, I don't know. I DO know that I haven't processed anything yet though. This is just how I deal with grief - I go through the motions as fast as I possibly can, and deal with the rest of it as I'm able.  It's probably not the "right" way, but in grief, there really isn't a "right" way. 

 The only reason I know what kind of bird I want is because I'm ALWAYS looking at birds.  I know what I like and what I don't like, what I want and what I don't. For the most part, making a bird decision isn't a hard one for me. I can fall in lust with just about anything, but when I start thinking about it, I'm always able to decide whether or not it would be a good fit in my family, and a blue crown wouldn't be. Plus, it's not what I really want. 

So, tomorrow I drive. 

Okay Vicki, I'll be honest, I kinda thought that was what was happening for you (the non-processing), I was just hoping for the best. You're right though, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Drive safe, I know the weather hasn't been very good in your neck of the woods.

vicki have a good safe trip and i hope everything clicks with the new bird...we all care!!


dusty