Need advice before I kill a coworker

I would voice record incidents as well as get several other people who feels the same way.

What's your field? Do you have annual performance reviews of some sort? Who does hers? What's your workspace like? I'm picturing open cubes.

If the boss is her line management and he's happy with her, it is likely your choices are to suck it up and go about your business to the best of your ability or look for another position. Unless you have VERY desirable credentials, the latter might not be feasible in this economy. A voodoo doll kit (someone gave me one of these once in not entirely dissimilar circumstances) may help, it sounds like you have plenty of material to be creative with it!

If she's really nasty and backstabbing, unless the Director is sleeping with her, she'll probably eventually put her foot in it with him. Actually, even if she is sleeping with him, but it might take longer.

YOU need to be the good cop here. Are you dealing with stuff that's so sensitive that it is a problem from a work standpoint that she's reading over your shoulder? Can you get one of those monitor screens that limits the angle from which you can read the screen? Set it up so the font looks tiny and turn the brightness down. Can you rearrange your workspace so you are generally facing her most traveled path? I HATE having my back to a door, for example, I tend to set up workspace so I'm facing the entrance with my monitor between me and it. Gives me time to blank the screen if there's something not for general consumption on it. Plus I hate being snuck up on.

She does sound really annoying, but I can almost guarantee if you try to get her censured or fired, you'll wind up looking like the big mean ogre rather than the victim. However, quietly asking for accommodations to your workspace that minimize the problem may get the message across, actually help you deal with the problem, and leave you looking like the reasonable one.

And about the voodoo doll... dart board... venting... anything that helps you cope is fine.

You can do what I do.....i take them fishing,,,just don't always bring them back.

The answer is obvious. Let a cockatoo loose in her car...she will never know...

Hey bean,i was going to suggest covering her in peanut butter and locking her in the too room.

I like how you think Capt!!!

I do too, LOL Unfortunately none of it is possible. Our office is a bank of large cubes and there's no way to turn my PC. Manager won't allow us to buy privacy screens for our monitors because they are too expensive and as mentioned, she has them in her pocket and she's annoying everyone with her little drama. We've collectively complained to HR about her and have collectively mentioned her antics in her reviews and in both cases we were basically told we were being whiny babies and to grow up... when she's the one acting like a child.

...why only ONE Cockatoo? A FLOCK Would be more fun!

I'd be very tempted to do this...

If shes reading your e-mails over your shoulder. Stop writing whatever it is you are writing, and start writing a message to her.

"Hey, About that file you just sent. it is the wrong.....STOP READING MY E-MAILS YOU FREAK!"


....or show up randomly at HER desk and do exactly the same thing she does to you, to her.

Of course. Regardless of being fun, that would also have a good chance of making things worse.

Nevermore wrote:

I'd be very tempted to do this...

If shes reading your e-mails over your shoulder. Stop writing whatever it is you are writing, and start writing a message to her.

"Hey, About that file you just sent. it is the wrong.....STOP READING MY E-MAILS YOU FREAK!"

Now that has the potential to be both amusing and effective. I like it! "DID YOU KNOW YOUR HAIR IS ON FIRE AND YOUR UNDERWEAR ARE SHOWING?"

Do you have health insurance? Start going to the doctor and complain about work related stress. Get a psych referral and complain about work related stress. Then let HR know you're seeing the doctor and in therapy for work related stress. Talk to the doctors and psych about the hostile work environment. Keep HR updated about work related stress and hostile work environment. Keep it all closely documented.

Then sue the sh*t out of them.

Where were you at the start of this thread. That's the best answer yet.

patdbunny wrote:

Do you have health insurance? Start going to the doctor and complain about work related stress. Get a psych referral and complain about work related stress. Then let HR know you're seeing the doctor and in therapy for work related stress. Talk to the doctors and psych about the hostile work environment. Keep HR updated about work related stress and hostile work environment. Keep it all closely documented.

Then sue the sh*t out of them.

I like it, I like it, I like it! Of course, then you end up on the case load of a Disability Manager (like me) and I have to find a way to get you back to work! Oh well....

If Vikki has a decent HR department, they'll understand what she's getting at at the first mention of "I want it in my file that I'm going to a shrink for work related stress/hostile work environment due to managements inaction with regards to the 40 year old who acts like an 8 year old. . ." and take it seriously that they have a problem.

Would be best if she can get all the other co-workers who have a problem with the same woman to do the same so HR has a paper trail that it's not just Vikki.

Keep a little notebook in your pocket. Every time this woman intrudes/does something inappropriate, whip out the little notebook (right in front of her is fine), note the date, time and details of the activity. If she asks what you're doing tell her you're documenting for HR and your shrink.

Personally, I'd only go that far if I was so P.O.d at the organization that I wanted to make an example of it AND if I never wanted to work there again. I probably wouldn't even consider a lawsuit unless there was seriously bad stuff going on, physical abuse or stuff that permanently damages a career, really mean stuff, criminal stuff. I have a strong aversion to misuse of litigation and honestly I'd consider this in that category. She's annoying, REALLY annoying, but I'd document my complaints and then try to make the best of it. Trying to make money off that situation or blackmail HR into firing her... it's fun to think about I guess, but actually doing it wouldn't sit very well with me. I don't mind being a troublemaker when I'm fighting for a positive outcome, but fighting for someone else to lose a job and possibly a home and a family and a life... not my cup of tea. I would not feel good about myself. Then again, I'm the kind of person that hands in found money, tells the cashier if they've made a mistake in my favor and puts the shopping carts back where they belong. In this case I really think I'd either be job hunting, or taking the moral high road, covering my ass, and waiting for the roof to fall on her. If she's that bad, it eventually will.

I guess I just don't see it as abusing the litigation system when the work environment is so bad that it's giving you high blood pressure, etc. That's what the system's there for or else you just wouldn't be able to bring suit on that subject matter.

I was at a job that gave me blood pressure issues. I seriously thought I'd have to get medicated. I quit that job and my blood pressure went back to normal within two weeks and hasn't been high since.

If it's bothering Vikki enough to ask for suggestions on how to deal, it's a little more serious than just venting that her co-worker's an annoying idiot.

Just my opinion.

Roz, I totally respect your opinion, I'm just inclined to disagree. I see legal action as a very last resort in general, and that's something I feel pretty strongly about. I think maybe it's just very hard from afar to know when the right answer is taking up meditation or litigation. I'm anti-litigation to start with, l so I'm more inclined to go the meditation route. MHO, and really Vikki's the only one who really knows what the right answer is...

I read the "sue the crap out of them" as a last resort after going to a doc/shrink and noting everything and making HR aware. It'd be after another period of time if something doesn't get resolved and there is no mediation.

Put a whoopie cushion at her desk...a small one. Priceless.

In all seriousness though, when she walks up, hit the power button your screen and turn around to talk to her. If she asks you why, say you were in the middle of something and now that she would like to talk to you have lost your train of thought. Now she can have your undivided attention for the duration of your conversation, but that it must be brief, because you have work to get done. Document the crap out of what you've asked her to get done, the deadlines and when she's actually done them. If she's not over worked, just lazy, this will totally keep you on the right side and not just being petty and whiny. Paper trail that affects that company may be your best bet.

And again..whoopie cushion.

One link will make it all better:



http://www.jobacle.com/blog/2009/10/23/today-is-slap-your-co-worker-day.html